A testimony at the Monday night home meeting when covering 'live grace-enjoying life for God's good pleasure'

a lot of energy and zeal to serve the Lord. There was nothing wrong with that. I mean, we just loved the Lord, and we wanted to do things. We just set about to do because we didn't really have this wonderful ministry back then, so I was doing a lot of things in serving. I couldn't stop myself. I didn't know that I was supposed to stop my self. But the Lord has a way. And basically that big stopping was four children in five years. That stopped me. That was the Lord's way of stopping me. I knew it was the Lord. I didn't understand why. I just thought it was good - what I was doing, but He stopped us.I wish I could say that was the end of my self back then, that was just his getting my attention. but day by day we lay ourselves aside and we check in and inquire of the Lord, "Who are you doing this? Are You in this?" Even all the little minor details. What to prepare for the home meeting? What to cook? That has to be the Lord. or else just ends up being hard to do. takes too much energy and you get tired and worn out. but if you 're enjoying the Lord and if grace is there, something is worked into us that produces something the Lord can enjoy. It is not easy to explain, but there's a big difference between self effort and doing things by grace.

A testimony at the Monday night home meeting when covering 'live grace-enjoying life for God's good pleasure'

[Recording 16]

My field project

It's really amazing considering many little and big things that have happened throughout this semester since I registered for the class called 'Sociocultural Influences on Learn.'

- The house where I've been living happened to be very closed to Joslin Elementary school.
 It's a walk of 5 minutes.
- The ALD course that I've been taking is mainly about Mexican American education, and most of the kids at Joslin have Mexican ethnic background.
- I met the sister working in that school at the very beginning of the semester in a saint's house when we were having the college outing; there were dozens of other houses that I could've been assigned to.
- A few weeks ago, my host grandpa told a story about how people (related to Austin ISD) never could change the neighborhood about re-drawing the boundaries regarding racial integration. That added a new dimension in my understanding the community I was interested in for my project.
- I went to another home meeting for Friday and met two kids that go to Joslin there. They live right next to the house where the home meeting was and they always come over to the house to play with their American grandpa and grandma. The host family told me how they began to pick up a burden to take care of them becoming their grandparents.
- I went on a blending trip with the Monday night home meeting members to Mission and Edinburg which border Mexico.

April 2nd, 2014

I think I picked the perfect book for my Wednesday appointment with Rebecca and Lisa. The book is called "The Law of the Revival." When I first came to Camila's house, she had been reading this book for a while, and I was reminded of this book several months later; finally, chose to read with them.



*Today's highlights: 

Some serving ones are living and fresh.
Others are down and oppressed and want to withdraw from the service.
Both conditions show that the saints are living according to their feelings. Their relationship with the Lord is based on their emotions.

A particular point in the first stage ( of the Song of Songs) is that there is not much revelation of the beloved to his seeker, based on her experience and feeling. Our knowledge of the Lord in the initial stage is mainly from our experience. ... Her praises and pursuit are an expression of her subjective experience and subjective feelings. Although this is precious, she cannot go forward if she remains in these experiences. She lacks objective knowledge and utterance; everything is subjective. Believers who fall into subjectivity tend to become shallow. If we desire to be deep, we must have objective vision. 

In verses 8-9, she sees her beloved leaping and skipping upon the mountains and hills like a young hart. The seeker sees an objective vision. Our environment is full of "mountains" and "hills." Our situation is truly difficult. It is in this kind of situation that we need a vision, an objective seeing, a further knowledge of the Lord. 

The experience of the second stage is not a matter of the Lord giving us rest and satisfaction but of our seeing Him as the resurrected Lord, who has the power and vitality to leap upon the mountains and skip upon the hills in His move. The Lord calls her, saying, "Rise up, my love, My beauty, and come away." This is a matter of moving, not of enjoyment. For our enjoyment we need satisfaction and rest, but for our move we need power and vitality. In such an atmosphere of resurrection and freshness the Lord wants His seekers to rise up and come away with Him. 

March 30th, 2014

1.
My housemates and I went to St. Edward to see Blue bonnets blossoming and take some pictures with those flowers as background. To me, it's really interesting to know that some people in the world come up with the blue flower when they think of spring. I've never considered blue one of colors for spring; rather, what I usually expect is soft pink color - Cherry blossom.

2.
Today's Prophesy Meeting
Week22: Two Wells - Two Source of Living
Gen. 21:15-34

Gen. 21:33 "And Abraham planted a tamarisk tree in Beer-sheba, and there he called on the name of Jehovah, the Eternal God."

Even though I didn't get to share my portion this morning, there's something that I enjoyed during this week. I haven't experienced homesick yet, but there's one thing I can't get used to - taking a city bus. On my way back home on last Wednesday, I couldn't do anything on the bus for the whole hour (It usually takes me 45-50 minutes) because I was so tired. I just kept dozing off, but it made me more exhausted since the bus was really bumpy. When I got off at the bus stop near my place, I said to the Lord, "Thank You Lord for dropping me off." I was just so thankful that I could get out of that crazily bumpy bus.  

I took the same bus the very next morning, but this time, it was joyful to be on the bus. I prayed over the verse Gen. 21:33; suddenly, I became happy realizing that a mortal man like me can call on the name of the Eternal God. I prayed, "Lord, I call on Your name, the Eternal God this morning. Some failures that I had yesterday are not real because they pass away. Even my success is not real. But, You are the only One who's true and real. You're hidden, concealed, and mysterious God, yet I can call on Your name! You can be experienced and expressed through men. How You're so available and real to me!"

The tamarisk tree planted by the well of an oath in Beer-sheba pictures the flow of the riches of life, the issue of the experience of the tree of life. The Bible connects the planting of the tamarisk tree with calling on a new title of the Lord, the Eternal God. If we want to call on His newly unveiled title, El Olam, we need to have this tamarisk tree experience.

I couldn't help but sang a song on the bus, of course in a quiet voice. "How mysterious, yet how real! God as life to man is shown! God Himself now flows in me!"


---
My host grandmother shared on the same verse that I enjoyed. Here's what she spoke - paraphrased:
One characteristic of the tamarisk tree is flexibility. The branches easily move as the wind blows. The characteristic of the human is different. We begin to get set and want to be settled since when we're 20.
You know, Bill and I are in our seventies. It would seem that we had to fade into the background, but this life keeps bubbling up. It seems like it has no realization of how old we are. This life is indestructible and never changing. It just keeps going! Source determines outcome. When we drink from the well of life, we receive His life and the life is the eternal life!

March 26th, 2014

Today, I really had to deny myself to go back to campus for the bible study after my observation at Joslin school. My route for today was like this: home> UT> home> Joslin> home> UT> Lucia's> home. I usually take a bus to get to the campus from home, and it takes about 45 minutes and vice versa. I spent, therefore, more than 3 hours just commuting back and forth. I wanted to take a long nap after playing with the kids in the schoolyard, but I took the bus again to share my little portion in the bible study and go to Lucia's. Well, it was worth it. SeEun, Ailey, Lydia, Jose, Martha and I got invited for the dinner tonight by Lucia and Alfredo. We all had a good amount of Mexican food and had sweet fellowship - our college life before the Lord, the matter of coming to the well of Issac (source of the river of the water of life), our growth in the Lord, etc.

I'd like to describe what we enjoyed in more details, but I should go to bed at least earlier than last night. I'll add details later.

on Tuesdays

I've been doing a classroom observation at Joslin elementary school, near my house, where most of the students are Hispanic.That is a part of my field project in socio-cultural influences on learn class. I think should've taken at least one beginner Spanish course back in Korea, because some of the kids there respond in Spanish when I say something in English. I was really nervous of going to the school and meeting kids but realized they're just so cute. Last week was the second time meeting them. They recognized me and grinned broadly toward me. After saying Hi, I sat down on a tiny chair, so I got down at their eye level. Suddenly they were in a line to hug me with wide-opened arms. Even though I had to run a lot playing with them, I just can't wait to see them again. They were so adorable that I even forgot why I went there. I don't know how my research paper is going on.

-

Unlike the rest of the people in our group for the trip to Cali, a heart-pounding class was 'Children, Young people, Campus work,' among the many classes in the training. It was about how to lead the young people. It even brought a tear to my eye, maybe because I had been serving for the high school students for two years before coming to the U.S. I left my babies in Korea. I tried my best to write everything the brother spoke in his message, which was quite challenging to me because of the language barrier. 

----

1 Thessalonians 2:7-8

But we were gentle in your midst, as a nursing mother would cherish her own children. Yearning in this way over you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own souls, because you became beloved to us.

2 John 12 

... I am hoping to be with you and to speak face to face that our joy may be made full. 

The requirement for the young people is heart, having an interest in them. Consider the heart that Paul had for Timothy. Paul said, "I want this one to go with you." This is personal contact, not giving a message. Be with me. Something of his being, heart, and burden is imparted into that person. Don't talk spiritual things too early before you have personal contacts with them. Do not give them a lot of doctrines, give them something practical. Make the points applicable to their daily personal situation because young people have many practical problems. Sense their feelings. 

Let's take 5 minutes to study their problems.

- BGR

- Friends

- Parents

- Loneliness

- Social issues

- School works

It's complex. The meetings can't meet their every need. You can't do these things in meetings.

Big meetings do not have much effect on young people. To take care of young people, you don't need meetings but personal contacts. 

Serving for the young people in our locality, we asked, "How do we get more serving ones?" 

But, you know, we don't need serving ones. They need the church. The church is the container for them. The work is not the container. We have to get them into the homes. The container for our gospel work is home. 

So then, I could still tell you. We were siting at the meeting. We were tired. We had our homes open. Wives were burnt out. On Friday, we did the young people. On Saturday, we did the young people. We didn't have home meetings. Young people liked us, loved us, but we were not getting them. They were leaving us. They didn't want to be with the saints but with the young people. Something was wrong with them. 

Oh...

We didn't know why. where the problem was.

The church is the destination. We began to preach to the young people. You need the church life. You need small groups. You need the church. You need the saints to be mingled with. This is real family life. You become known by them. They become their friends. This was our answer. We don't need more serving ones. 'You' need the church and they need the church. 

When was the last prophesying meeting we had? What about home meeting? We were even not in the church life. We stopped any work. How can we bring them in where we were even not in. Wives were worn out, I was worn out. 

The personal shepherding has to take place in the context of the church life. I said to the young people. Let's consider one another. I need the church, and you need the church. Companion is me, the old guy. 'You' will be their companions. They need 'You.' 

I got a phone call. We got some young people to the home meeting. Also we had to fight for the concept. Home meeting is not for the campus work, but the church life. We want to bring them into the church life as early as possible. We want young people to know and experience the church life. 

There is only one place that's safe - church life.